


Team Not Ready meets Team Red

by orphan_account



Category: Daredevil (TV), Deadpool (Movieverse), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: ..right?, Gen, I have to admit i have literally never seen a single comic, Team Red, Twitter, Twitter Fic, and.. am watching dd atm! so. that's something, barely remember homecoming, have only watched clips from the dp movies, i'll be updating these as i go, thats something right?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:27:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23709907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Spike @budhsjai81y3 3hrSpideyI did the do the ssgconvincehdGive @Or:The Avengers never broke up and Tony Stark never found Spider-Man. Sure, he thought the guy was neat and ocassionally helpful, but he never cared enough to be friends with, or hell, even recruit him.Daredevil and Deadpool, however..
Relationships: Matt Murdock & Peter Parker, Matt Murdock & Peter Parker & Wade Wilson, Matt Murdock & Wade Wilson, Peter Parker & Wade Wilson
Comments: 13
Kudos: 284





	1. @ stealing

**Author's Note:**

> s h o r t because,,, beginning  
> will probably be updated (at the very least) twice a week. i'll try to snag a more reliable/specific schedule later on ^^

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is non canon-compliant btw! i may or may not do an actual fic with this au, but either way, information will be slowly revealed! this has some tiny plot points planned out, but im still fleshing it out so you probably won't see any of the mini-arcs in the first,,, 5 chapters? probably ^^
> 
> the only integral info is in the summary!

**Spide** @Spider_Man _1d_

sorry _@amberbridgetttt_ for stealing your @ but on the flipside you now have _@spoodersporker_

> **Hunbun** @Hunniebear _1d_
> 
> _@Not_Important_ is this real?

> **Unverified Twitter Verifier** @Not_Important _1d_
> 
> Mhm

> **Beebitch** @Bianca_Adair _1d_
> 
> What the fucksicles

> **No fucking swearing** @CharlesPan _1d_
> 
> finllysy hhshhhhhhhhisjshforgotwordssAAAAAAJHSJSJ finally, time enough

> **Spide** @Spider_Man _1d_
> 
> are,, are you okay?

> **No fucking swearing** @CharlesPan _1d_
> 
> Im yes it justddxjxxckx ffiur in the mrojgnmoringmorning

> **Spide** @Spider_Man _1d_
> 
> please sleep :(

> **No fucking swearing** @CharlesPan _1d_
> 
> Jdshokayhthankyouiempathyddyoutoognightngoodnight

> **Spide** @Spider_Man _1d_
> 
> night! sleep well :)

> **Beebitch** @Bianca_Adair _1d_
> 
> Cant believe spidey has mastered the anceint art of guilt-tripping

* * *

**Triple T** @amberbridgettt _12hr_

Imagine: about one year ago, you hear about spider-man. You snag the spider_man @, maybe hoping for him to randomly hyu offering money to snag it back; You wake up one morning, phone having a fucking stroke. spider-man himself has stolen your @. You are still broke.

> **Spide** @Spider_Man _10hr_
> 
> wish I could help but like,, i'm also broke :( Best of luck <3
> 
> **Triple T** @amberbridgettt _10hr_
> 
> Oh! No worries, you help plenty enough with your spidermanning thing. <3 stay safe, okay?
> 
> **Spide** @Spider_Man _10hr_
> 
> awwgdksh thank you!! :')
> 
> **Triple T** @amberbridgettt _10hr_
> 
> :-)
> 
> **Triple T** @amberbridgettt _7hr_
> 
> I cant believe i just said spidermanning thing i feel like an eighty year old grandma omg

* * *

**Spike** @budhsjai81y3 _4hr_

_@Spider_Man @Daredevil_

> **Spide** @Spider_Man _3hr_
> 
> ,,,wade?
> 
> **Spider-Fan** @unofficialspideycult _3hr_
> 
> Wade?? Wade whomst? Wade civillian friend?? 👀
> 
> **Normal,, mAN** @creepynormandude _3hr_
> 
> Wade???? Wade. Wilson???
> 
> **Spider-Fan** @unofficialspideycult _3hr_
> 
> WAIT OMG

> **Spike** @budhsjai81y3 _3hr_
> 
> Spidey
> 
> I did the do the ssgconvincehd
> 
> Give @

> **Spide** @Spider_Man _2hr_
> 
> wade!! i love you!!! you did the impossible!!!!!!!
> 
> **Spike** @budhsjai81y3 _2hr_
> 
> Imbsuusbushy right now imjustoggoing to assume you gave @ seeyapou later
> 
> **Spide** @Spider_Man _2hr_
> 
> Oh! Yes! I'll!! Do that!

* * *

**Spike** @Deadpool _5min_

Oh Hello random indiscripent voice, Do i have the @?

**Spike** @Deadpool _3min_

FINALLY, suck it @budhsjai81y3 !! Thats what you get for stealing bitch!

> **Normal,, mAN** @creepynormandude _3min_
> 
> Folks, Deadpool has a fucking twitter. Deadpool. I don't know whether that's good or bad.
> 
> **Spider-Fan** @unofficialspideycult _3min_
> 
> Bad. Definitely bad. The man is a fucking assassin
> 
> **Beebitch** @Bianca_Adair _2min_
> 
> Wait, he is?? Did he,,, did he murder _@budhsjai81y3_?
> 
> **Spike** @Deadpool _2min_
> 
> Left them with a shitty @ !!

* * *

**Spite** @Daredevil _1min_

I would just like to take this moment to say I did not choose my name/title. Whatever the changeable bit is called.


	2. q&a chapter,,, kinda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike @Deadpool
> 
> Would not fuck a Lawyer i don't know what came over me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am Trying to get past the not watching anything issue by watching short clips/compilations  
> i'll watch the movies (and series) soon i promiseshxih i just have a very short attention span today
> 
> i've already watched some deadpool ones and istg i will not allow myself to post another chapter before watching a daredevil one so matt can finally be more relevant

**Spike** @Deadpool _5hr_

Would fuck John Mulaney

**Spike** @Deadpool _5hr_

Would fuck Eddie Brock

**Spike** @Deadpool _5hr_

Would fuck Chris Pratt

**Spike** @Deadpool _5hr_

Would fuck Ryan Reynolds

**Spike** @Deadpool _5hr_

Would fuck Eddie Brock

**Spike** @Deadpool _5hr_

_This tweet has been deleted._

* * *

**Beebitch** @Bianca_Adair _5hr_

Damn, Deadpool thirsty

> **Spike** @Deadpool _5hr_
> 
> Iget in moods sometimes

> **Normal,, mAN** @creepynormandude _5hr_
> 
> Why'd you delete the Matt Murdock one?

> **Spike** @Deadpool _4hr_
> 
> Would not fuck a Lawyer i don't know what came over me

* * *

**Beebitch** @Bianca_Adair 4 _hr_

Wait...

Spider-Man has a twitter

> **Normal,, mAN** @creepynormandude 4 _hr_
> 
> Yes? Was this not established?

> **Saltbea** @IAMAFUCKINGMAN _3hr_
> 
> it took a w hile to processs man. Spiderman has twitter and he's,, Babey

> **Faster than my bullet** @officialspideycult _3hr_
> 
> SPIDER-MAN has a fucking twitter omg

> **Spider-Fan** @unofficialspideycult _3hr_
> 
> Right?? That's WILD.

> **Normal,, mAN** @creepynormandude _3hr_
> 
> He.. what brought this on? It's been a day??

* * *

**Spide** @Spider_Man _3hr_

hey, we're verified!! _@Deadpool @Daredevil_

> **Spider-Fan** @unofficialspideycult _3hr_
> 
> Good job Spidey!
> 
> **Spide** @Spider_Man _3hr_
> 
> thank you :D

* * *

**Spide** @Spider_Man _3hr_

hey immgonna do a qna! send me questions at #spidethriveQ

* * *

**Spide** @Spider_Man _3hr_

okay, been seeing a lot of the same type of questions so im just gonna answer them in some tweets and then d i p #spidethriveA

> **Spide** @Spider_Man _3hr_
> 
> How did you get your powers?: bitten by a radioactive spider. it's dead now, so don't go around looking for weird spiders to be bitten by
> 
> 1/4 #spidethriveA

> **Spide** @Spider_Man _3hr_
> 
> How do you stick?: me to my suit: it's not you it's me
> 
> 2/4 #spidethriveA

> **Spide** @Spider_Man _3hr_
> 
> How do you web?: my suit to me: it's not you it's me
> 
> 3/4 #spidethriveA

> **Spide** @Spider_Man _3hr_
> 
> How old are you?: agdishbd im sure some conspiracy theorists could figure it out but please don't try 4/4 #spidethriveA

* * *

**Spike** @Deadpool _3hr_

Guess what GUESS WHAT

> **Beebitch** @Bianca_Adair _3hr_
> 
> What?
> 
> **Spike** @Deadpool _3hr_
> 
> You can ask me shit too !! Tag it #fourthwallgetslonely

* * *

**curious** @george666 _3hr_

#fourthwallgetslonely #spidethriveQ how come daredevil literally only has one tweet

> **Spike** @Deadpool _3hr_
> 
> He's an antisocial loser
> 
> **Spite** @Daredevil _3hr_
> 
> I'm the only one here with a job.
> 
> **Spike** @Deadpool _3hr_
> 
> And are an antisocial loser
> 
> **Spide** @Spider_Man _3hr_
> 
> wade he's like,, the most stable one out of all of us
> 
> * * *

**Faster than my bullet** @officialspideycult _2hr_

I just saw a black blob robbing a chocolate store _@Spider_Man_ explain?

> **Spide** @Spider_Man _2hr_
> 
> y,, you saw what
> 
> **Spide** @Spider_Man _2hr_
> 
> _@Deadpool_
> 
> **Spike** @Deadpool _2hr_
> 
> Ooh, give me a minute
> 
> **Spike** @Deadpool _2hr_
> 
> _@monsterfuckerarchive @parasitebitch @VenomousSnake @monster_fucker @symbioteboy @Venom @venomousreporter_ I know you can see this. Fess up or forevrhodlpyu
> 
> **Spide** @Spider_Man _2hr_
> 
> what was that at the end, wade are you okay?
> 
> **Spike** @Deadpool _2hr_
> 
> Dreddndaviel ypgot back
> 
> **Spide** @Spider-Man _2hr_
> 
> hold on let me decipher this
> 
> **Spide** @Spider_Man _2hr_
> 
> dp are you,, in the middle of patrol? with double d?
> 
> **Spike** @Deadpool _2hr_
> 
> Notingmdiddle iwas waitingfro him tofinish looking for syit and he did seeyeou later

* * *

**SPIKE** @Deadpool _10m_

I'm alive

**SPIKE** @Deadpool _9m_

_@monsterfuckerarchive @parasitebitch @VenomousSnake @monster_fucker @symbioteboy @Venom @venomousreporter_ Whichever one of you has met me, come forward or i'll find you and steal your phone

**SPIKE** @Deadpool _9m_

You have 5 minutes

**SPIKE** @Deadpool _8m_

4

**SPIKE** @Deadpool _7m_

3

**SPIKE** @Deadpool _6m_

2

..2.5

**SPIKE** @Deadpool _5m_

E-V im being generous here man

**SPIKE** @Deadpool _5m_

Let me sweeten the deal:

If you don't come forward in the next 3 minutes i will find you, steal your phone, and post whatever alien nude i KNOW you have in there

**SPIKE** @Deadpool _4m_

It's back to 2 E-V

**SPIKE** @Deadpool 1 _m_

1.5..

**I can explain the @ i swear** @monster_fucker _Now_

Fuck FINE jesus hi

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EddieEddieEddieEddieEddieEddieEddieEddieVenomVenomVenomVenomVenomVenomVenom


	3. Daredevil and Deadpool..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SPIKEY @Deadpool
> 
> Oh well would you look at the Time! Gotta go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: i started this (chapter) before watching episode 1 of daredevil.  
> ..i am now on season 2 :')

**Normal,, mAN** @creepynormandude

Wait, so who IS _@monster_fucker_? And may they please explain their @?

> **I can explain the @ i swear** @monster_fucker
> 
> Good on you for the ambigous pronouns. He/him, E-V, He/they, Venom
> 
> **I can explain the @ i swear** @monster_fucker
> 
> Basically Venom is a parḓ̴͐ŝ̶̩s̶͎͝ì̶̙t̴̠̏e̵͚̎ą̵̔
> 
> **I can explain the @ i swear** @monster_fucker
> 
> S̵̪̦̒̂͛̔͌Y̸̩̙͓̜͍̫̑͗̌M̵̛̦̂̈́B̶͉͊̍͗̀͌Į̷̨͓͍͌̄͘O̷̧̲̻̻̎̒͌̿̔̌T̶̡̟̬̓Ê̵͇͙͙͓̓ that lives in me and needs a chemical to survie. Chocolate and human brains have that chemical. Somehow we make it work
> 
> **I can explain the @ i swear** @monster_fucker
> 
> Anyways we have to go to bed. I just came on here so my phone wouldn't be fuckingh murdered by my ex
> 
> **Pride is every day** @pridepridepride3
> 
> well thats.. uh
> 
> **Beebitch** @Bianca_Adair
> 
> I mean we live in a world with a literal God with us is it really that weird
> 
> **Pride is every day** @pridepridepride3
> 
> PFT you right you right
> 
> **Spide** @Spider_Man
> 
> _@Deadpool_ when were you going to introduce us haha
> 
> **Anne The Man** @AnneWeying
> 
> Ex?
> 
> **Spide** @Spider_Man
> 
> wait-
> 
> wAIT EX?
> 
> **SPIKEY** @Deadpool
> 
> Oh well would you look at the Time! Gotta blast
> 
> **Spide** @Spider_Man
> 
> wade it's 7
> 
> **SPIKEY** @Deadpool
> 
> And?
> 
> **Spide** @Spider_Man
> 
> i called you at 2 in the morning yesterday and you picked up immediately
> 
> **Spide** @Spider_Man
> 
> ,,wade?

* * *

**I can explain the @ i swear** @monster_fucker

Wade called us at 5 in the morning to say we were 'on Daredevil babysitting duty' today. Thanks for that wade, you asshole

* * *

**I can explain the @ i swear** @monster_fucker

Protip: don't let him have his phone OR alcohol

**I can explain the @ i swear** @monster_fucker

He just quoted a meme why the hell do i feel fucking attacked

**I can explain the @ i swear** @monster_fucker

Wade. Wade please

**I can explain the @ i swear** @monster_fucker

Wade take over

**I can explain the @ i swear** @monster_fucker

Wade what the fuck do we do

* * *

**I can explain the @ i swear** @monster_fucker

Nevermind Venom has this

* * *

**I can explain the @ i swear** @monster_fucker

The fuck do I do though

* * *

**Saltbea** @IAMAFUCKINGMAN

Okay wow I just looked up Matt Murdock @Deadpool you have to be BLIND to not want a piece of that

> **SPIKEY** @Deadpool
> 
> Ha
> 
> Blind. I get it.
> 
> **Saltbea** @IAMAFUCKINGMAN
> 
> Pun NOT INTENDED-

* * *

**SPIKEY** @Deadpool

_This tweet has been deleted._

**SPIKEY** @Deadpool

_This tweet has been deleted._

* * *

**SPIKEY** @Deadpool

Wrong Account Haha. Ignore that or i will shoot my dick off

> **SPIKEY** @Deadpool
> 
> And maybe you. I may or may not shoot you if you repost that 
> 
> **Beebitch** @Bianca_Adair
> 
> Wait what
> 
> **Spide** @Spider_Man
> 
> huh? what did you say wade?
> 
> **Rando** @yesmynameisRando
> 
> ""W r o n g A c c o u n t""?
> 
> **DEADPOOL HAS A THIRST TWITTER I REPEAT** @DeadpoolHasAThirstTwitter
> 
> I will not ignore it, no
> 
> **SPIKEY** @Deadpool
> 
> I will shoot you
> 
> **Spide** @Spider_Man
> 
> he did not put a period he was bluffing
> 
> **Spide** @Spider_Man
> 
> also i don't think i want to know anymore im leaving before my eyes see anything they don't want to
> 
> **SPIKEY** @Deadpool
> 
> Fucking
> 
> Have some faith in me baby boy
> 
> **DEADPOOL HAS A THIRST TWITTER I REPEAT** @DeadpoolHasAThirstTwitter
> 
> DP give us the name man don't leave us hanging
> 
> **E-V** @monster_fucker
> 
> Ashamed to admit I waW̶̫͘O̷̼͎͊Ư̷̊ͅL̶̙̕Ď̴̫̬̄ ̶͉̐L̷͐̕ͅͅÍ̸̥̤̚K̶̛͍͠E̸̝ ̶̳́T̶̜͑Ơ̶̼̐ͅ ̷͉͆̇S̴̳͌͘Ë̸̪́Ë̶̱͓́ ̴̨͈̉T̸͉̋̕H̴͚͗͝A̶͇͍̾̚T̵̙͋̍
> 
> **SPIKEY** @Deadpool
> 
> well Shit
> 
> * * *

**SPIKEY** @Deadpool

NO IT WASN'T EXPLICIT STOP ASKING. He told me he hated shit like that anf I wouldn't do that to him.

> **Beebitch** @Bianca_Adair
> 
> Aww, he cares
> 
> **Beebitch** @Bianca_Adair
> 
> By the way im with Spiderman on this, who's the mystery man the tweets were about?
> 
> **SPIKEY** @Deadpool
> 
> Anyone says something, I am shooting their damn phone.
> 
> **Spider-Fan** @unofficialspideycult
> 
> According to an anonymous source, Daredevil lol
> 
> **Normal,, mAN** @creepynormandude
> 
> Thats.. oddly cute? Who knew Deadpool could be sweet haha.
> 
> **Anonymous** @MLP9087
> 
> Aww
> 
> **Queen Bee** @EddinaAdair
> 
> Oh young love. xoxo prayers
> 
> **NO FUCKING SWEARING** @CharlesPan
> 
> Heres hoping it all works out!
> 
> **Hwuah** @bitCh1WHErE
> 
> it BETTER work out

* * *

**Spider-Fan** @unofficialspideycult

dEADHPFOOLSIOUTSIDEMYWINDOWSH

**Spider-Fan** @unofficialspideycult

Hi. I am typing this on my friends phone. Uhh,

> **Spider-Fan** @unofficialspideycult
> 
> DEADPOOL SHOT MY FUCKING PHONE thank you for your time

* * *

**Spite** @Daredevil

Wait.

**Spite** @Daredevil

It was about who?

> * * *
> 
> **SPIKE** @Deadpool
> 
> HE SAW IT SINCE WHEN WHAT THE FUCK ABORT ABORT
> 
> **E-V** @monster_fucker
> 
> Oh shit sorry he wasn't aupposed to he on his pgone

* * *

**Spide** @Spider_Man

has anyone spotted deadpool lately? i already asked everyone i know that knows him and nobody has?

> **VictorKrumm** @moveplease
> 
> Look back at the thread
> 
> **Spide** @Spider_Man
> 
> uhh OH i forgot to ask _@monster_fucker_
> 
> **E-V** @monster_fucker
> 
> Ŵ̸͈̥̈́h̴̬̀ä̶̼̯́͐ţ̷͈
> 
> **E-V** @monster_fucker
> 
> Ờ̷̤h̶̠̃
> 
> **E-V** @monster_fucker
> 
> W̷͙͑E̶͆͜ ̵̛͜Ẁ̶̱I̸͋͜L̴̠̿L̸̩̓ ̵̟̾T̴̡̏Ȃ̸͜K̴̹̀Ę̷́ ̸̞̊C̵̥̃Ả̷͇R̴̢̈E̸̻͐ ̵̤̿O̷͙͝Ḟ̶͔ ̵̟̂Í̸̯T̸͔͋

* * *

**no swearing Bitch** @CharlesPan

Why do i suddenly Stan wade wilson?

> **Beebitch** @Bianca_Adair
> 
> I have veen w him since day 1 gET ON MY LEVEL
> 
> **Deadpool Cult** @deadpoolcult
> 
> You make a cult twitter for him?
> 
> **Beebitch** @Bianca_Adair
> 
> Shit
> 
> **Deadpool Cult** @deadpoolcult
> 
> didn't think so ;)
> 
> **Superior Deadpool Cult** @Official_Deadpool_Cult
> 
> NOW I HAVE
> 
> **Deadpool Cult** @deadpoolcult
> 
> oh Heck
> 
> **Deadpool Cult** @deadpoolcult
> 
> the @ is better than mine :(

* * *

**E-V** @monster_fucker

Daredevil is a pain in the ass and Venom adores him for a reason i cant fucking comprehend

> **SPIKE** @Deadpool
> 
> You jealous?
> 
> **E-V** @monster_fucker
> 
> What the fuck no
> 
> **E-V** @monster_fucker
> 
> Wade you are one room away why the hell did you tweet that?
> 
> **SPIKE** @Deadpool
> 
> Im what?? I already left
> 
> **E-V** @monster_fucker
> 
> Hwhat dot oy keab

* * *

**E-V** @monster_fucker

Apparently Venom adores wadw to the point of abandoning DD to look for him. WHEN DID THESE BONDS FORM I DONT UNDERSTAND

**E-V** @monster_fucker

Nevermidn pparently DD is also gone

> **SPIKE** @Deadpool
> 
> What the fuck? He is??

* * *

**E-V** @monster_fucker

Im just gonna livetweet these disasters when we find them because Fuck Em, Venom is fucking worried

> **fellow Ev** @treeExtrordinaire
> 
> I stan one (1) queens badass and his name is E-V
> 
> **E-V** @monster_fucker
> 
> Oh, im not actually from Queens,we're just visitingsgxj
> 
> **E-V** @monster_fucker
> 
> May not be a good idea to livetweet two Living Disasters while you're inside an alien parasite but Hey
> 
> **E-V** @monster_fucker
> 
> Hah he didn't catch fhe Paraapdhe8sh

* * *

**E-V** @monster_fucker

Im okay im okay

**E-V** @monster_fucker

Jumping across buildings are not good typingh helpdk

**E-V** @monster_fucker

He keeps doing it i think he's still pissed about the pafrhsitfnc confmsndPARASITEFCOMMENT

**E-V** @monster_fucker

Venpm is a bitch about being callrf a parasit wpass it on

**E-V** @monster_fucker

SHIT

* * *

**E-V** @monster_fucker

Ikay foujd DP

> **E-V** @monster_fucker
> 
> We gonna do the stupid horror movie thing an split up

* * *

**Spiteful spspite** @Daredevil

Brooklyn accents are amazing.

> **Normal,, mAN** @creepynormandude
> 
> Ah, he speaks.
> 
> **E-V** @monster_fucker
> 
> Where the fuck are you??
> 
> **SPIKE** @Deadpool
> 
> Uh
> 
> **Spiteful spspite** @Daredevil
> 
> Roof tiurbkwft
> 
> **SPIKE** @Deadpool
> 
> Try again, Red
> 
> **Spiteful spspite** @Daredevil
> 
> To 5our oeft. Tti tiyr oef t. ti tiyrvoeft.
> 
> **SPIKE** @Deadpool
> 
> Roof to who's left?
> 
> **Spiteful spspite** @Daredevil
> 
> Hoyrs
> 
> **SPIKE** @Deadpool
> 
> Mine?
> 
> **Spiteful spspite** @Daredevil
> 
> Yes.
> 
> **SPIKE** @Deadpool
> 
> Okay.
> 
> **SPIKE** @Deadpool
> 
> Just a little heads up im gonna Murder You when I get there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> devilpool?? in my house??? more likely than you think
> 
> anyways, this,,,, took Quite A Bit of tweaking till i was cool with it and i dont understand why because its a Twitter Fic its not supposed to be--
> 
> i did Not want to work on this chapter so much, i now have a w.i.p. of a normal fic set in the same universe :') i'll add the time (1hr/1min/1day) stuff later i swear ;; i just wanted to finally get this out

**Author's Note:**

> comments feedmy heart and soul


End file.
